In attempting to work through how to reconcile asexuality with willingness to engage in sex in the context of a relationship - and how to explain the concept to a new man friend - I came up with an analogy I thought I would share in case it’s helpful for others.
Let’s say you’re in a relationship with someone who loves hockey. You, personally, are pretty indifferent toward hockey, but it’s important to your partner that a relationship include attending hockey games.
You - perhaps not enthusiastically, but freely and willingly - agree to attend hockey games because you know it’s important to your partner.
You enjoy going to the hockey game with your partner. Maybe you even get really into it, cheer loudly for your team, heckle the ref when he makes bad calls. Going to the hockey game is great for your relationship with your partner.
But if you can’t get tickets to the game, you’re not disappointed.
You don’t actively seek out people to take to the hockey game.
You’re happy to have season hockey tickets, but equally happy if you only go to the game sporadically. The year there was an NHL lockout was totally fine for you, even though you’d been going to the game regularly the year before. And if your relationship comes to an end, the lack of hockey games isn’t hard on you.